CATNIPS on Global Warming 12/18/2009
There are folks out there who do not believe that global warming is a problem, or even that it exists. They seem to think that the 99%+ of the scientists in the world who are warning about the problem are involved in a vast conspiracy to annoy them. Recently I read a remark in the news that global warming cannot exist, because it was snowing in Houston. There is an old maxim that it is better to remain silent and have people suspect you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Global warming does not, of course, mean it is necessarily going to be a lot warmer where you live. It does mean that there is likely to be much more severe, odd, and erratic weather everywhere in the world. What do Bogie and Bacall think about global warming?
BOGIE: I’m against it! I have this beautiful, warm fur coat and I’m not taking it off no matter what anyone says. Besides, Mom and Dad have had to evacuate for more hurricanes in the past couple of years than usual, due to changing weather patterns. I HATE staying in a motel away from home, and I let them know by yowling and tap dancing across their heads all night long. If everyone would be as cool as cats, I bet we could stop global warming now! Certainly, we wouldn’t be arguing about such silly things. Save your arguments for important stuff like whether I am the best cat in the world or not, to which the answer should be obvious to everyone. As for the ignorant and uninformed disputing global warming, there will always be ignorant and uninformed people—some of them are brainwashed into taking this ignorant stance. I don’t let anyone wash any part of me, especially my brain. Listen up folks and learn something!
BACALL: I like a warm lap, but keep everything else cool for me! I won’t even eat table scraps until they cool down completely. Of course, I usually turn my nose up at table scraps, anyway. Why should a princess eat scraps? Bogie is right, some folks are just plain obstinate. Cats are obstinate, but we aren’t dumb! I have a M.E.O.W. degree in Cuteness, so I am well educated. Bogie didn’t get past katergarten. They expelled him for bringing catnip to school.